I quit college and I haven't left the house in about two months, maybe more. I don't really know why I'm telling you this, but I think you could help in some crazy way. A few words of advise? This is weird I'm not even sure I'm going to ask you this haha. Do I put it on anon or not? um ok. I feel weird Himanshu.. like something's wrong but I don't know what. Or you know that feeling you get when you're late for something important and you know you've screwed up. Yea that feeling, but constantly.
I was hoping you were going to give me advice. Im about to move back to New York after 5 months with no money and what feels like no friends back home. Im going to live at home w my family in the suburbs. I dont have a credit card, an atm card, a phone, a laptop, a driver’s license. I don’t know. Ive been working hard, motivated, performing but ive been away in Asia where im constantly inspired. Ive left my vices back home. But im going back.
Maybe sometimes im too honest on social media. I read message boards where people are like “he’s an addict” “he went to wesleyan why is he broke” “he was begging for money”. But then I get on tumblr and a lot of the things people say to me make me want to continue to be open because people can relate. People can relate to being lonely, depressed, heartbroken, anxious, broke, self-destructive, to fear, to vices, to each other.
“Gay liberationists in the 1970s attempted to differentiate themselves from gender-transgressive identities and presentations out of fear of being equated with transsexual individuals and activists. …
The class implications of drag and gender transgression—particularly surrounding the role of working-class ‘street queens’ in the early gay liberation movement—complicated these debates on drag even further, challenging notions of class as well as gender respectability. The analytical separation of gender and sexuality that dominates our understanding of gay, lesbian, and transgender identities today, [David] Valentine thus argues, was produced in a particular historical moment in which disentangling homosexual and gender-transgressive identities became crucial to the political goals of gay activism—to delineate between gay and transgender identities, to draw class lines of ‘respectable’ and abnormal gender presentation, and to separate feminist critiques of gender systems from the political project of gay rights.”—
Betty Luther Hillman, “‘The most profoundly revolutionary act a homosexual can engage in’: Drag and the Politics of Gender Presentation in the San Francisco Gay Liberation Movement, 1964–1972” from Journal of the History of Sexuality 20.1, 2011
This is one of those things where it’s worth considering that the apparent opportunities for identity can shift over time.
How many people who identified as gay men (or women) and lived in drag in the 70s would have identified as genderqueer, or fluid, or even trans, if they had access to the ways that other communities were discovering to talk about themselves?
I think the internet has given millions of relatively isolated people access to ideas that can change everything about how a person sees their life from the inside, and given them names and definitions for identities they couldn’t quite define without role models.
So when some people say about some people drag is transgressive, it might have been true. Maybe if they were defining themselves today, they wouldn’t all call what they’re doing being a gay man in drag.
“Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them.”—Brian Eno, A Year With Swollen Appendices (via conradtao)
I want to find a way to get smart kids who love rapping to take the 3rd-hand pseudo Chuck D bass boost out of their sweet young voices.
It’s hampering their expressiveness and individuality, and instead of sounding like they’re bringing you a deep revelation, they sound like they’re trying to imitate their dad on the phone to tell school they’re sick today.
I’m posting this for Kristy Bee!, who may appreciate that when I was like seventeen or eighteen I sampled a rented VHS tape of Eraserhead and tried to chop some drums and stuff to make an interlude out of the Chipmunk Cheek Girl’s haunting song.
I did it in a weird DOS program, like all my old beats. These drums aren’t from a record, I snuck my band’s minidisc recorder into a drum clinic at the music shop where I took lessons and used a bunch of breaks recorded from inside my sweatshirt on my old beats.
I almost was really interesting, once.
(this album, How To Express Your Dissenting Political Viewpoint Through Origami, is pay what you want or free to download on Bandcamp if you follow the link. It came out in 2004, collecting everything I’d made since 1997 that didn’t make it onto my previous tape or CD. It’s… juvenile. But charming.)
Why should I? Dude was the worst member of a rap group who released approximately one and a half great albums when I was in elementary school. I barely cared about what he had to say when he was making good music and I certainly don’t care about what he has to say twenty years later. It seems like the best course of action would be to let him wither away in obscurity while he clutches whatever ignorant and outdated beliefs he still holds deep in his heart or rectum but no the internet can never do that because it needs your outrage for fuel.